Listening is a Management Skill We Must Hone
I was in a communication course about ten years ago where the presenter started his talk by posing the following question: âHow many of you in this room believe you are a good listener?â Most of us in the room raised our hands, including myself. We were all CEOs, entrepreneurs, and managers in that room. How can you be a good leader if youâre not a good listener?
The presenter smiled and waved our hands down. âMany of us believe weâre good listeners, and we intend to be good listeners. But unfortunately, itâs just not true.â
He continued his explanation: âIn reality, what we do is pretend weâre listening while other people speak. We even think we are listening. But most of the time, what we are really doing is waiting for the other person to shut up so we can add our opinion or tell our story.â In other words, if you are thinking about what you want to say while someone else is speaking, that’s not good listening. Itâs something else. And itâs not powerful, itâs not likable, and itâs not serving you well as a leader. Simply put, itâs a terrible habit.
All too often, we as leaders forget that part of being decisive must include listening to others. For communication to be effective and powerful, it requires leaders to listen first. Which is why the article below really hit home for me.
In this article, item #3 highlights how not listening and not asking questions actually makes us unlikable.
“Not asking enough questions. The biggest mistake people make in conversation is being so focused on what theyâre going to say next or how what the other person is saying is going to affect them that they fail to hear whatâs being said. The words come through loud and clear, but the meaning is lost. A simple way to avoid this is to ask a lot of questions. People like to know youâre listening, and something as simple as a clarification question shows that not only are you listening but that you also care about what theyâre saying. Youâll be surprised how much respect and appreciation you gain just by asking questions.”
I have an added perspective: When you don’t ask your team members for input, or you don’t truly listen to them and actively incorporate their thoughts, you end up doing all the work yourself. Employees stop engaging because they do not feel like theyâre participating in active problem-solving work. They feel unheard.
Thereâs a flip side to this, too. Leaders who find themselves saying âmy employees just don’t think for themselvesâ should take a close look at how theyâre listening to their employees. Most likely, you need to practice combining true listening with the art of asking questions. (This isnât the same as cross-examining your employees, by the wayâgiving someone the third degree isnât a way to engage them, either!)
The rest of the article I quoted above is worth a read as well. You can find the original article here: 10 thoughtless things you do that make you unlikeable. They are all things we managers and owners need to keep in mind.
Friendly Disclaimer: This information is general in nature and is not intended to provide legal advice or replace counsel about a specific issue with an attorney or HR expert. This material is meant to provide information that is believed to be current as of the date of this post.